Anne Lastman
Repeatedly studies have shown that women experience emotional distress following their abortion, with those experiencing this distress experience it so severely as to necessitate mental health care. The number of women who report satisfaction with their abortion decision is very minimal and indeed there are few reports where it clearly shows that abortion has any beneficial result. On the contrary studies are clearly showing not only detrimental physical effects such as PID, womb damage, infections, perforations and the spectre of future breast cancer, but the psychological/spiritual effects now clearly outweigh the physical after effects.
Psychological suffering of women in our society is clearly evidenced through their need to become a caricature of their true selves. It’s in the progressive changing of the psyche of women which results in new suffering of women, child, and society. This new suffering is one which in ancient times was also found to exist especially in Greek society where the husband had the right to “expose” the child, that is, if unwanted then taken the baby, often a girl, outside the city and left to die. This wasn’t considered murder. How similar to our day. Its not murder say pro-abortion females. A newborn is not exposed though at times is left to die in sluice rooms, in buckets, in dishes and in some unexpected place, and certainly no abortion is considered murder. It’s in the self-sterilisation (contraception, abortion, rejection of children) demanding the gender changes, the current trend, and thus becoming in time womb less in order to respond to some unknown, nameless, call. This modern woman, even teen child, seems to have lost or had/has no understanding of her own being, her own self as beautifully feminine. Her genius being different than male. Her differences which makes her unique amongst creation.
It’s my contention that the first step to abortion is the absence of God from the psychological environment of society where having a child, on cue, that is when it’s wanted (frozen embryos, frozen eggs, IVF) is an entitlement and so manipulation of creation has been utilised. Man and woman where children are conceived and grow naturally seems to be slowly considered an anachronism. With the removal of God from life it becomes possible to “expose” again an unexpected and unwanted child and following this all manner of human rejection and disposals of life become possible. When a society loses its sense of morality and its sense of its creator, pride overtakes the human heart and all forms of violence become the norm.
Abortion, abortion grief, abortion trauma, self-mutilation, self-destructive behaviours, eating disorders, substance abuses, desperation, depression, suicide, family breakdown, etc. etc., all have their roots in the rejection of God and life and replaced by unhappiness, violence and death. There appears an aimless wandering, a seeking for something, especially by young men and women. They seem to be looking for some peace. There is an estrangement from self and others and attempt to change themselves from their design, perhaps to find their real self and even in the hope that the love and peace they are lacking will be found when different. There is turmoil in family life and this surely must make some sense because the sin of the parents in a family e.g. adultery, an abortion history, violence, rejection of desire for children must find its final expression in future life of that family.
With each generation the dignity of the human person has been diminished and a kind of darkness now encompasses us. Men and women now are fearful of children preferring pets dressed in designer clothing, indicating a deep need for nurturing, and those children who have escaped death are becoming tyrannical almost loveless and abusive to even parents, grandparents, relatives, other children. Truly, just in this, if nothing else, it’s possible to see how deeply and profoundly humanity has been wounded. It’s no wonder that the reaper has found a place to hide within humanity. Assault against the child by its parents (abortion or frozen for later date) followed by an innate sense of loss by child, which is then followed by disrespect and assault of parents who rejected him/her. It’s a devastating relationship which is bounding towards the future carrying what we call today load of depression or much baggage.
Depression comes in a variety of guises, psycho/spiritual/physical or a combination of all of them. However, the primary cause is a deep wound, unresolved grief, unrecognised grief, important loss, deep crisis, abandonment, rejection. In its mildest form depression is something which can be experienced by all during a time.. A moments of change. It’s a state of mind and a scrape of the spirit which are not in harmony with one another.. There is disharmony within, which is causing pain –. In its more severe form depression is debilitating. It can paralyse and can induce meaninglessness, hopelessness, unimaginable by a non-depressed sufferer.
Abortion regret can lead to depression and remain unacknowledged until that triggering moment arrives. It manifests as something disturbing yet remains unnamed. At this level when recognised it can be manageable. However, this depression does not remain at the manageable level but progressively intensifies as “meaning” is sought for the feeling of darkness and unease continues. Indeed it could be said that if the abortion experience remains an unacknowledged event when not permitted to surface to conscious experience as something which was life changing and validated as such an experience, then depression is the response which we know as cognitive dissonance.
Depression, which is not chemically induced can also be understood as illness of the spirit. This type of depression when treated as a biologic illness can and is damaging. Spirit illness alerts that something is amiss within one’s own values system, within one’s own conscience. As a result, guilt becomes the trigger for self-punishment and is a function performed by the superego because of the loss of self-esteem, and a devaluing of self. Psychic and/or spiritual disorders (which I believe abortion after effects, grief, trauma are) can only be treated or perhaps even resolved by using moral and spiritual dimensions, whilst appreciating that the cognitive dimension is also involved and important.. It’s the psychic wound which requires the gentle healing by the ultimate healer. This is beautiful to see when a non-believer of God still wants to know that her baby is safe and happy. (therapist who can bring this into the conversation without causing disrespect).
In the recent weeks I have been called and told about 4 late term (2nd trimester) abortions. Each of these abortions were for foetal anomalies and the sad part about it all was that all the abortions were spoken about in “matter of fact” tones as if the abortions were a foregone conclusion especially with the encouragement of primary carer, physician. I spent an hour and half in peak hour, country phone call, with a young girl whose 17-week infant was found to have Trisomy 21 and who, with help of her mother and female physician, convinced her on abortion. Yet I wondered why the call to me? The answer emerged not long into the session. “I am sad a lot and cry a lot but don’t know why” and so began the work of specific counselling. The same with the other three young ladies who had also undergone abortion and experienced the after effects and needed assistance. As I have said many times during my 30 years of counselling post abortive women, therapy for these clients is not the same as for others who also maybe needing therapy dealing with relationship, substance abuses, other issues, or even complicated grief. The reason for the difference is because there has been an intentional death of a child, a human being, even a murder and with the approval of mother of the child and usually several others who assisted in process of decision making and facilitating the procedure.
Being a therapist in this field of work requires not only counselling techniques and strategies but a knowledge of the nature of the human being. The design which places him/her above all other creation and embedded within her, empathy and dignity, and these even unrecognised still very enmeshed within her being and conscience. Empathy and dignity are signatures of the creator. His seal on their soul. Human beings the only creatures who resemble their own parents going back to the original parents who were created in an image of God “Let us make man in our own image, after our own likeness” (Gn 1:26) Unlike any other creature The first man and woman created in the image of their father God, and this image has continued through millennia to this moment in time. There is an inner knowledge that the original imprint of the image has been passed on from generation to generation and will do so until the end of life.
Being able to reconcile the mother who aborted her child (father when possible) and baby whom she first rejected is the work of the specialist healer, one who recognises the signs of ache in heart and spirit for a mistake which she believes cannot be undone, but possibly by a therapist who invites the Divine healer to be present and engaged with the life of this pained woman whose very being has been shaken and left a crevice open for Jesus to enter. Counselling of abortive woman can lead her and those who surround her in life to accept the goodness of that which is, her now, because her past has been changed by her experience. She can now look at others through eyes which can see beyond the immediate and see pain. This because in time she does weep.
