Anne Lastman

Mother’s day, in Australia,  is  approaching  Sunday, May the 11^th. A day when children, with dad’s help, do what they do not do tangibly during the year. Spoil Mum. Bring her breakfast in bed, pancakes made by children’s hands, with jam, toast also with butter and jam, fruit, and cup of tea and of course the beautifully wrapped gift and the special handmade cards from each of the children. Cards to be kept by mum all her life.  Next step is to sit on bed with crossed legs and watch mum try hard to eat all on the tray filled with food (at that time of morning!) and show a happy big smile (in between mouthfuls), and when this is finished and hugs and thanks all around, a bit of jumping on bed, younger ones of course, this at about 6.30am,  OH dear! Without letting it be known it’s impossible not to eat every crumb because their faces show love and achievement.  Dad stands by or sits on bed  too whilst mum valiantly  downs all the  goodies and then the piéce de résistance the gift opening with its coloured wrapping paper with lots of coloured ribbons  and of course the screeching and clapping when mum loves what is given.  I remember those days so clearly, maybe a thousand years ago.  Four very young  sons sitting on bed around me watching while I ate all.  And I saw love and I hope they saw love and not the difficulty I had eating so much early in the morning.

Mother’s Day, a feast day like any other though it’s become so important and children prepare for this in  ways available to them and given to mum with much love and accepted with equal amount of love.  I know it’s said that it’s mother’s day every day and indeed it’s so. However, it’s so special to acknowledge a day when the imprint of love in a woman’s heart is expressed, enfleshed, visible, mother. The woman who carries life into the future. The woman who cooperates with God to create life. The woman who has a relationship with her child that their two “I’s” become one I.  They can know what the other is feeling, hoping, thinking.

We have heard it said that a mother knows when her child has need of her.  There’s a call and a knowing and she won’t rest until a response.  She knows when her child leaves for other dimensions (as I did). A mother knows from the moment of conception that there is a special relationship between them unlike any other.  They have nine months to develop a language of their very own, cues of their own. Help one another when needed. Mother, whose child has shed cells within her which will last a lifetime. The connection. One.

This same mother who feeds, washes, cleans, kisses their hurts much better, than anyone else. Who nurses them when sick and child wants mummy only.  The woman who teaches them to walk, talk, develop. Plays with them, tucks them into bed after telling them the most fantastical story about life with the more astute mothers being able to include creation, redeemer, a beautiful spirit, (not ghost) all in language of story which  remain embedded deeply and can be resurfaced especially at a time in the future when needed. A mother who loves like no other. A different love. A creator kind of love.    

Love is a mysterious emotion. It’s written  within every cell of woman as indeed all human. This is a love which is so infinite that woman immediately forgets the pains of birth (as promised  Gn 3.16) the moment she meets the one she has carried in her body for usually nine months. Within one body another took up residence there (like Matryoshka doll) and both loved and dialogued and developed a language of their own. This love so overflowing and this giving at times repeated many times. Always forgetting the pains just to hold her enfleshed love.   This is a union which sadly society has forgotten perhaps as a result of women who have shut down their hearing the love call and so hear instead the death call for the one, she carried in her body.   This monstrosity called abortion, shows a particular truth, that is, the very existence of “mother love” which ensures that no creation will pass by unnoticed.  Her later grief.

To quote St John Paul II “motherhood involves a special communion with the mystery of life as it develops in the woman’s womb”  He further said, “Each and every time that motherhood is repeated in human history, it’s always related to the covenant which God established with the human race through the motherhood of the Mother of God” and indeed, the covenant is extended every time motherhood is repeated making the birth of every child a salvific moment for woman. A moment where her dignity as woman is exalted. A dignity which no one may violate without suffering.   

Nothing  can take the place of the most fertile  beautiful soil, the mother’s womb.  She has been prepared for the seed which through various processes lead to growth of beautiful seedling which after various stages becomes the one who will develop into visible son or daughter and becomes bonded, covenanted to her as her child.  Her inherent covenant role is fulfilled with the conception of her child. As St Paul said, “a woman is saved through childbearing (1 Tim. 2:15).  As the man’s covenant role is with his wife so the woman’s is with the child.  So deeply hidden within the mystery of fecundity is the secret of God hidden in this biological reality.  

We can see how much this is true even at the spiritual level because since Vatican II and the diminishing, of the role of Mary the mother of Jesus has led to the concerted diminishment and loss of the understanding of the mystery of the holiness of fecundity and creation. The apparent diminishing of reverence for woman beginning with the mother of Jesus, Mary This diminishment has paralleled with the loss of the feminine understanding of her role as woman and hence the willing and intentional killing of infants in the holiest place on earth, the womb. “Eve “on  hearing and listening to the voice of sin “you surely will not die.” Believed and woman has not necessarily physically died but her soul has slowly retreated. During this time Mary, mother of Jesus  was demeaned, woman was demeaned, children demeaned.  Mary abandoned as irrelevant, woman used and abused. Children used abused, killed in millions.  

Guilt (a character of the evil one) first whispers words of death “it’s not a baby. Its cells. It’s tissue. It’s product of conception,” and after “you’re a murderer” and hence guilt which becomes self-punishment another violation of her “womanhood” “motherhood.” 

Motherhood is always a blessing. It’s why God created humanity. He first created love, then forgiveness, their home, and then finally created his masterpieces (man and woman, Ish and Isha ) to cooperate and participate with him in in further creation.  She is so designed that no other can be like her.  No male can carry and feed an infant from his body.  Woman  even creates the perfect food for her baby. 

Woman’s role as mother doesn’t end with the birth and her feeding of child with the food (breast milk) she makes, but her love and nurture and care and devotion for her child continues for all his/her lifetime. She feeds, washes, nurses in time of pain, sits and rocks gently, watches him grow. Proud and marvels at the creation she has brought to birth. But she knows that she must in time release him (as at Cana) and does so slowly by encouragement to activities in play and be with other children.  Just beginning to let go.  She teaches him and responds and explains his many “whys” and walks with him and even pushes him to  be a little more distant, so he can grow but she’s always there. 

As time passes mum begins to distance herself a little more without causing pain, and delivers him to school, and to activities where he will meet and socialise, but she looks longingly for the time her child comes home.  Further still she continues to feed and answer questions and watches him have friendships which do not include her and she knows that she has done well in helping him to make the circle wider, the friendship circle wider and wider.  She Praises or gently helps him to see growth.

As years pass and he becomes a young man  she watches as the circle becomes wider still and she begins to be concerned if all will be well with him and his friends. Will he be safe.  She sits quietly at night with light off waiting to hear the car arrive home and  then silently slips into her room.  He’s safe She can sleep. . 

And mother waits for the day when a special person comes into his life and she remains silent hoping that all will be well.  And she does know that if it’s that special person she must step back and allow the new person to take her place in her child’s life.  She knew the day would come and the separation from one who fed him with her own food and allow another to care for him, there is both sadness and happiness for him.   But still she worries. A mother never stops worrying about her child. When accepted, her role as mother is her fulfilment, she knows she has done what was asked “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” and she knows  the pains of birth and salvation which come from them have diminished that curse.

As time passes, she fully lets go and watches from a distance the man she has given birth to, will also in their time also creates a new beginning and she delights but she then begins to be content to walk forward,  hopefully with husband or if not, serenely alone, and in time  into the far distance.  Her work done.  “woman is redeemed through childbearing” She, on  her part, has “yes” and completed her yes when asked to mother a new life. A role unlike any other because she has actively worked with her creator and together, they created another human being whose birth changed all of creation in order to accommodate him. All of creation has been enhanced  because of his coming. 

To know the role of “mother” is to marvel at the destiny God had prepared for her even long before her own creation and “He looked upon all that he had made and declared that it was very good”( Gen 1:31).

We wish all mothers, even those who don’t realise that they have been mothers, (abortion, miscarriage)A very blessed mother’s day.  To our spiritual mothers, who have donated themselves to their heavenly spouse in order to help the lost children find a way home.  A young friend who had lost a brother too soon had a dream about his brother and asked him “how are you, Matt? And Matt’s response “I’ve been a bit lost but am finding my way” To these spiritual mothers who help children lost “find their way” a very happy and blessed Mother’s Day is wished for you, and a very happy and blessed Mother’s Day is wished for Mary, the Mother of Jesus, our brother and saviour, “blessed are you amongst all women and blessed is the fruit of your womb.” (Lk 1:39-44). The womb of woman is blessed because life took up residence there.

Happy Mother’s day to all mothers!

PS/ For ease of writing I have used the pronoun “him” .